What are you doing for your bae on Valentine’s Day? It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Just showing you care is what it’s all about. A bunch of comedians, foodies, and a pastry chef break down their thoughts on how to make the best of Valentine’s Day.
Full Belly Laughs Podcast Episode 111 Show Notes
Andrew from Philly Food Porn returns to dish out some awesome advice related to Valentine’s Day. You can hear his fantastic romantic advice on the podcast, or head over to Philly Food Porn on your social media apps or browser.
Valentine’s Day Advice
Last but not least Brian chats with pastry chef Jose Ramos about what anyone can do to show your loved one that you love them. Below is a full transcript of the conversation.
Interview with Pastry Chef Jose Ramos
[Brian]: Alright, dude. Valentine’s Day is around the corner. You baking anything for your bae? Making her some sweet treats?
[Jose]: Nah I never do.
[Brian]: Never do?
[Jose]: I get bitched at for it too. “You post all these pictures, and it looks so good. You never bring anything home for me to try.” I don’t bring my work home.
[Brian]: I feel that.
Surprise Your Bae
[Jose]: Nah. I’ll surprise her once and a while, but I don’t want to carry that sh!t on the train. If I see a homeless dude, he’s getting my food. That’s how it works.
[Brian]: You also don’t want to be that tall black dude with the cowboy horse selling treats on Septa.
[Jose]: The dude from PeeWee’s Playhouse.
[Brian]: Yeah the cupcake cowboy. Whatever that guy’s name is.
[Jose]: Yeah. If I have food … I gave someone a half an apple last week. I could just lie to her. “Yeah I just gave it to some homeless dude,” but hopefully she doesn’t listen to this.
[Brian]: That’s a good play.
[Jose]: There is always a backup plan. But nah.
What Can You Do for Your Bae on V Day?
[Brian]: If you don’t make her anything, what do you get her? Do you get her anything? Do you some kind of life event, like go out to eat or something.
[Jose]: I’d honestly just buy her a cake. Honestly what I’ve learned in life is you can fix anything with a woman with cake. F@ck diamonds. Cake. Seriously. Cake will fix everything.
[Brian]: What kind of cake fixes what kinds of problems?
[Jose]: Honestly if you’re trying to fix life in general, ice cream cake. Do it right. You’re getting ice cream.
[Brian]: That’s true. It’s a two-for-one.
[Jose]: I’m all about two-for-ones and value. We usually go out, but we don’t go out on the generic day. On the 14th. We go out a couple days after. The good thing is restaurant week falls a couple weeks before. So we’ll go to like three places and I’ll be like, “Yeah that’s your Valentine’s.
[Brian]: That’s a sick move.
Valentine’s Day Gift Suggestions
[Jose]: I’m not big into Valentine’s. I think I made her chocolates once.
[Brian]: That’s cool. Early on?
[Jose]: Nah. First year we were together I got her flowers once. I don’t advocate buying flowers, because I’m not a fan of killing life. I like flowers. They’re beautiful.
[Brian]: What if you treat them like a pet?
[Jose]: Yeah, but as long as they’re not hacked off the roots. Don’t get them where they’re forced to die.
[Brian]: So you can get a plant from Ikea?
[Jose]: Yeah if you buy a potted plant that’s dope. You can be a generic Joe and buy chocolates at the store, but that’s dumb. Buy her a box of brownie mix, and make her a f@cking brownie. Get a heart cutout and use that. Do some DIY, boyfriend-sh!t.
[Brian]: I remember when I was working at the pizza shop, around Valentine’s Day, I brought home a pizza for dinner. But you shape the pizza like a heart. It’s so easy, and they literally lose their mind. “They’re like what?”
[Jose]: They’re losing their mind because it’s pizza. It could be a square in the shape of a dollar sign, but it’s pizza.
[Brian]: That’s true.
[Jose]: I don’t get excited about the shape of it. I get excited about what it is.
[Brian]: That’s fair. But I think baes out there, it’s the little thing that matters. It’s the thought. It’s like, “Oh your brownie mix brownies aren’t going to be the best, but the fact that you made it for them is going to matter.”
DIY Your Way Into Your Bae’s Heart
[Jose]: Oh yeah. Just go to Giant and buy the brownies already made and cut them out. Go get icing from aisle 3, and make your own layered heart cake. It’s about effort, and I just don’t like the holidays. It’s a giant money trap. I guess it’s cliche? I don’t know what that word means. It just feels like perfect timing to use it.
[Brian]: It’s funny. I’m with you. “I’m too cool for school”. This is a Hallmark holiday for sure. But I can’t deal with snubbing my bae and be like, “nah.”
[Jose]: If you want to do something, in Philly there’s chocolate shops. You just have to find them.
[Brian]: What are some pro tips on some good chocolate shops?
[Jose]: The most obvious …
[Brian]: Go-Diva chocolate?
[Jose]: … What’s that place called in the Reading Terminal Market? It’s on the complete otherside of Beiler’s. There’s a chocolate place right there. It’s not perfect, but go make a mix-and-match. They got chocolate-covered bananas. They look like dongs, maybe that will get her off. There are ways to do things. It’s just the effort aspect of it.
[Brian]: I feel you.
Show That You Care on Valentine’s Day
[Jose]: If you really, honestly want her to love you, then make something. Women love it when you make things. It shows that you care, and you put the time into it. You didn’t just go to the store and like, “Hey here’s a gift card, happy Valentine’s Day.” I’m a big fan of the gift card plan, but Kim caught on to that real fast. You’re not trying.
[Brian]: You make the same play enough time, they’ll metagame against you.
[Jose]: Sometimes you can get in there and get lucky.
[Brian]: I hear you.
[Jose]: Yeah. You can go f@cking Michael’s and buy a chocolate molds. Make your own chocolate. It’s easy.
[Brian]: How do you make your own chocolate?
[Jose]: I take that back. Making your own chocolate is not easy. It has to temperature and tempering. It’s a whole science. Candy making is science. Baking is science. Culinary can be scientific, but you don’t have to be precise.
[Brian]: Yeah baking is like a chemistry question.
Don’t Bite Off More Than You Can Chew on Valentine’s Day
[Jose]: Pastry is the biggest trap honestly. You don’t think it is, but it is once you get yourself into it. You’re like, “ah f@ck. I guess I have to pay attention at work now. Guess I can’t let that go for an extra minute, otherwise it will f@ck it up.” You have to actually pay attention at work. I’m a big fan of not paying attention to anything.
[Brian]: I guess if you get the calculation correct, you can set it and forget it.
[Brian]: But it’s getting that jawn perfect.
[Jose]: Just take the time. Do some research. DIY that sh!t. But honestly, find and remember the things that they like.
[Brian]: That’s true.
That Elusive Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift Though …
[Jose]: It’s sucks. Kim’s go-to thing is these rainbow cookies. The Italian jawns with the apricot jam. That’s her jam, and there is only one place that she likes them from. And for six f@cking months we’d go in and they wouldn’t have them. They wouldn’t have them. Still they wouldn’t have them. So we went in last weekend, and boom there is a fresh tray of them. I got a pound of them, and then was thinking, “Man I should get another pound, keep it in the freezer at work, and boom bust them out for Valentine’s Day.”
[Jose]: It’s like the unicorn. You see it once, you have it, and it’s great. You want to see it again, and it’s like nope. But that place, I don’t even know the name of that bakery, so I can’t plug them. Which is fine. They do little cakes and this and that. They got some volume, but those are the only thing that we go there for.
Patronize Business Your Actually Like on Valentine’s Day
[Brian]: Sure. And it’s its own bakery, right? It’s not the bakery at Fresh Grocer?
[Jose]: No no no. It’s in the Ardmore Market. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that area, but if not you should be. It’s dope. They got a DiBruno Brothers in there. They got a lot of stuff going on. Fresh seafood. Coffee shops. They once had a stand that was selling mini cupcakes for $3.50 a piece.
[Jose]: Yeah they’re no longer there. I don’t know why. I honestly couldn’t tell you why they’re there. Maybe they got so big they had to expand. But yeah just put some effort into it. You want to DIY, go get some chocolate, melt it, buy yourself a rice crispy treat. At the store, the rectangle ones. Dip it in there, and let it chill. Write I love you or whatever, and boom. “I made this for you. Try it.”
[Brian]: Yeah. Forget Edible Arrangements. That’s your Edible Arrangements right there.
[Jose]: F@cking money trap. Kim loves Edible Arrangements.
[Brian]: We all do. It’s impossible not to.
[Jose]: I love fruit, but I’m not trying to have it carved up for me for 45.95, and delivered to me for 16.95. I’ll just go to the store and buy a banana.
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